(Transferred from Bunnyhopscotch.)
“For us without us” or “Nothing about us without us”? More and more, I am meeting non-autistic allies who are standing alongside our advocacy and lending strength and dynamism to our cause. Here in Singapore, there has been an ‘awakening’ of sorts too, but we have a long way to go before we can achieve deep rooted progress at the very most fundamental levels. We are a very ‘progressive’ city – judging by what’s visible to the eye, at least. We do know how to do things well, if we want to. And we’ve done so many things extremely well. For one, I am immensely proud of our airport. There’s no need for me to sing the praises here – you can look it up anywhere and everywhere. I’m also pleased and relieved that people don’t have to fear being gunned down randomly on the street or in school. We’re by and large a pretty safe city to live in, and I’ve lived in a few rather pleasant cities too, but none with the kind of placid security that Singapore has. I am also really encouraged by the many positive changes that have taken place in the disability sector – the higher levels of awareness and desire to learn better ways – even within the short span of the last two years that I’ve been back. We are a robust little nation, and this is proof that we can do things quickly if we decide we wish to.
OK, so, here, today, I am talking about Autistic equity and autonomy.
A prominent non-autistic advocate for Autism in Singapore asked me this question, and I have no reason to doubt her sincerity, in fact, I do believe in her dedication to our cause (paraphrased):
Are only Autistic people allowed to advocate for Autism? What about non-Autistic people like parents and friends? Do we not have a stake in Autism Advocacy too?
My answer was probably a tad too wordy for this kindhearted person, because she never replied thereafter, leaving our ‘conversation’ without cadential closure, which is a ‘normal’ part of interaction with non-autistic persons. I am fine with that, technically, it’s all cool, except that this kind of thing leaves my autistic brain inside an echo chamber of very loud silence, which I am not sure what to make of, really.
Let me try to put it through again in a more neat and tidy nutshell, because I understand that non-autistic brains tend not to like too many details, and typical autistic communications tend to be detailed – hence the tension between the two realms. (Back to the empathy issue – Empathy works both ways, shouldn’t it?)
Autism Advocacy benefits greatly from the voices of our allies. We cannot do this alone. But allies are allies, you need to allow Our voices to lead the way, to shape the form and direction, and you need to listen to us about us. Stand with us, not for us.