Uniquely Me – Finale Episode 6

Uniquely Me Episode 6 – screenshot

It has taken me a long time to finally write about my appearance in the final episode of the series on Autism, “Uniquely Me – Episode 6“, which aired on MediaCorp’s Chinese Channel 8 , on 11 June 2019.

Uniquely Me Episode 6 screenshot of Jun Wei playing the French Horn.

I’m honoured to be paired with Jun Wei, a fellow musician, in this feature. I thank director Bee Har Koah of Threesixzero films for her sensitive handling of the subject. It was a pleasure to work with her, and she did not disappoint my trust in her artistic integrity. My greatest fear each time I consent to be featured in public media of any kind is the twisted portrayal of “inspirational porn”, sensationalism and evocations of a grand pity-party. It did not happen in this series, and I felt the episode unfolded in a practical, unemotional way, offering concrete real-life glimpses into our lives.

Uniquely Me Episode 6 screenshot of my video series, “An Olfactory Map of Sydney, 2017” premiered in The BIG Anxiety Festival 2017, Sydney, Australia.

I appreciate that the episode highlighted our artistry and our passion for music and art, rather than focusing on “overcoming the odds”. It did not create heroes out of us, but rather presented a human side to our parallel autistic embodiment.

I also love the way director Bee Har included Lucy in such a sensitive way. Lucy is truly my muse, closest companion, Canine Angel and lastly, my trained assistance dog. She has traversed with me, always watchful, always faithful, across seven years of adventure, tumultuous changes, unexpected achievement and inspired my concept and practice of Clement Space. I owe her my very life, I wouldn’t be where I am were it not for her steadfast and cogent presence.

Uniquely Me Episode 6 screenshot of rehearsal in progress with director Peter Sau and Shai, and Lucy looking on.

Many have asked me whether I have directly benefitted (financially or career-wise) from all the exposure in the media. My answer is a definitive no. I have not received any grand offer of financial gain, fabulous professional engagements or that elusive thing that autistics all desire – a decent job commensurate with our skills and qualifications. Quite the opposite, in fact. I have said often that I find it stressful and anxiety-laden to be interviewed or featured this way. I am revealing intimate parts of my life, leaving myself open to criticism and gawking, and I never know if or when the journalist or feature director will be faithful to my guidelines and demands for accuracy and respectful portrayal. Thus far, I have been lucky to a great extent – I have managed to avoid being held up as “inspirational”, and the media coverage has been largely respectful according to my own terms. But why do I even do this, if it brings so much discomfort? My reasons are simple. This is my contribution to my autistic community, my way of advocating for respect, equity and understanding, presenting the human side of my autism, laying bare my own fragility for a chance that someone somewhere may be blessed by my derring-do, comforted by my facing life challenges with honesty, or persuaded by my courage to step forward into the harsh, unforgiving limelight.

We are all autistic, we share a common neurological function, we face similar challenges, yet we are all uniquely different individuals in a richly textured existence. Listen to us, learn from us, respect our narratives, and embrace us as part of the fabric of human existence.

imperilment

Reiterating my ethical stand, my desire to return to what I do and love best, and where I find my Autistic Joy.

bunnyhopscotch

Autism Grand Circus

An autistic friend recently supplied me with this link, a tongue-in-cheek “New Age Bullshit Generator“, which generates a slew of pseudoscientific propositions for any kind of purpose you wish to apply it to. We were discussing the topic of snake-oil and pseudoscience, and its prevalence in what I call The Grand Autism Circus.

On the one hand, the New Age Bullshit Generator is an exercise of ironic humour (and very clever programming), but one should not ignore the presence of a grave, sombre message that lies beneath. Pseudoscience permeates the autism world, which is a fierce and aggressive circus that does not exist in the realm of any other disability in today’s context.

We are now in the 21st century, yet snake-oil cures still abound and vigorously thrive in the autism world. From MMS / CD Water (which is basically bleach solution), ASEA (saline mixture), to Chelation and…

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Withdrawal

Dear Friends,

I have officially withdrawn from Eric Chen’s “Life After Death” Autism Forum, due to differences in professional ethos.

This event is solely organised by Eric Chen. I have no part in its planning, funding, ethical and intellectual content, nor should my name be henceforth associated with or used to promote it.

I wish Eric the very best in all his endeavours.

Dawn-joy Leong

object-thing

Autistic pursuits and objects of passion: lavish indulgence or crucial intervention?

Autism advocacy can be devastating savagery to the Autistic Artist’s soul. Relentless and aggressive, the crass normative dominance chaffing against autistic fragility, valiantly struggling to be heard amidst Daedalian gyrations, asphyxiating gas-lighting and gelid silence, is crippling.

The Artist needs to recover Sense of Soul, that Clement Space within which emanates forth, once revived and strengthened, as vibrant virtuosity and vitality. Spiritual Sustenance.

And this Autistic Artist has been slowly mending, resuscitating, rearranging, invigorating and awakening Clement Space, Autistic Joy.

An ongoing exercise that is critical to Beingness, that marks the difference between bleak existence and dynamic Life.

This morning, I unearthed an important Object that performs a key role in this unfolding and unpacking. It is non-functional in the mundane utilitarian sense – a pair of old Ferragamo wedge shoes transformed with rocks, cheap plastic baubles and paint. It cannot be worn, it does not fit into the category of High Art, whatever that is spun out to mean, it is not aesthetically pleasing in a general sense, and it has no monetary value. Yet, it is functional because it serves a completely different purpose, sublime yet forcefully tangible to the ones who are able to perceive its potency. For this Autistic Artist, who created this object-thing, it and the act of bringing it out of its storage space, of un-hiding, un-masking, marks another hidden, intimate junction of reflection and compulsion towards healing and growth.