This is a casual piece about my views on behaviourism in general, and my own lived-experience of accumulated trauma and vulnerability as a consequence. It is not an academic article, so I have not provided citations, though the reader can easily find supporting evidence using Google to do a search where interested.
My strong objection to programmes like ABA and all those behaviour-focused interventions that try to rigorously train Autistic people into mimicking acceptable normative behaviour, and unquestioning compliance to normative societal systems, is not only because they are generally hideously abusive and de-humanising, but more crucially devastating in practice, in my opinion and lived-experience, is the longterm, far-reaching harm that these programmes do to the organic, intrinsic functionality of the Autistic human at the very core. The Autistic person is violently cut away from their natural, unique instincts, and forced to adopt superficial behaviours that do not support the Autistic in any deeper meaningful way, leaving them incapacitated, quietly languishing, silently roaring, weeping in despair and grappling with hapless rage, captive subaltern inside the nauseating swirl of normative Neurocolonialism. It is therefore not surprising to find that the majority of Autistic persons who have grown up receiving ABA now report symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
It’s almost the end of April, and I have been trying to post a daily personal thought-piece on Linked-In on my “taking up space” as a proudly Autistic human in this grand swirl of humanity. Why Linked-In? Simply because I wanted to. Yes, I know it’s not really the kind of thing people post on Linked-In. I see that I am once again doing something almost nobody else is doing. But I am not bothered if nobody reads it or likes it or whatever. I am merely taking up space, holding space, nothing more grand, clever or fanciful. Lucy taught me how to enjoy a posture of meekness without relinquishing enjoyment and security in one’s unique Beingness. It is possible. Not always “comfortable”, but it is another form of Clement Space to me. I thrive better this way. Thank you, Lucy.
I am also wanting to do my part this April, as an Autistic human, in a month that is controversial – loathed by some Autistics and welcomed by others, the latter especially in my region of the world. But not as an Advocate, a label that was placed on me that I never asked for. The hat just did not fit well at all, though I wore it as best as I could, especially in my country when I first returned from Australia, when there was nobody else to stand in the gap. Now, I see there are many powerful advocates, the field of advocacy does not need me, not even in my own country anymore. To be honest, I am relieved. I have been on social media since the days when Facebook began as an invitation-only platform, and blogging was the only way to reach and connect with other Autistic humans. Back then, I did not worry about ‘likes’ of ‘followers’, I don’t think it was even a ‘thing’ at the time. I never did put much importance in this, I was reticent even when the ‘following’ and ‘liking’ started to trend into a full blown slugging match, though I did think that I ought to get in on the act a bit more, but of course failed miserably because my heart and soul were not aligned with that movement anyway, and now, at this point of my journey, it completely does not matter at all. The only caution and thought I have learned through the years to exercise is for my own safety and privacy, because there is so much that is awful about social media these days. For me, I maintain a presence because I want to, and because it is easier to update my few friends and supporters this way, but my main focus is on being a witness to my own journey, telling my personal story wherever I am welcomed, at every interstice I possibly can. My mission is simple. I do all nowadays in honour of Lucy Like-a-Charm, who showed me another dimension of perceiving, receiving and living, and how to be human in my own best possible way. I admit that the ability to choose this path is a luxury and privilege for which I remind myself to be grateful always. I just want to tell our story, nothing more.
This thought-piece is about my personal experience of the observation and upholding of diversity, equity, and inclusion, and receiving the supports I requested, during my latest adventure in Salzburg.
My thought-post today in LinkedIn. I am seldom there, because it’s not my favourite milieu, but the AI experts I mentioned are very active in LinkedIn, so I posted this there to let them know their work has impacted me. I always try to recognise people who have helped or inspired me in some way or other.
Image description in Alt Text but copied here too: White on black background, sketch of Lucy greyhound. Nose tilted downwards towards her left, eyes looking down enquiringly, her ears are relaxed but perked, ready to take on new information. She wears a blue brocade collar with a large red flower. This sketch is from a photo of Lucy taken at SYNC Sg 2019, I was sitting on the floor, exhausted in near shutdown, and she got up from her fluffy mat, and was looking at me, always caring always alert to my needs.
Sketch of Lucy Like-a-Charm – speaking without words.
I don’t know much about AI, but I became interested after hearing Wan Wei, Soh & Ammar Younas in a panel speaking passionately about AI during SIBOS2024 in Beijing. I’ve also been reading articles posted by them & Tony Fish. As an Autistic autism researcher & multimodal transdisciplinary artist focusing on alternative sentience / empathic resonance and parallel embodiments, AI fascinates me. In an early experiment at my university in Australia, more than 10 years ago, I found that I was far more comfortable alone in a room with a humanoid robot, than with a real human stranger, & the experience stayed in my mind. That comfort level was not at all close to what I enjoy when I am with amiable non-human animals, nature or the elements, but definitely better than with humans. Now, thinking about AI, and the fact that AI entities are already beginning to develop “personalities” of their own – fundamentally, if AI is ‘fed’ the right kinds of information about neurodiversity, Autistic, neurodivergent, neuroholographic states of Beingness, would it then not follow that the AI entity would be a far more comfortable, comforting & even, dare I say it, empathic companion than the average misinformed, prejudiced & discriminating ‘real’ human? And then, the question: Who therefore can be said to possess more “humanity”? The AI entity developed with the right perceptions & attitudes, or the average human holding onto erroneous & harmful notions without wanting to expand their thinking?
Regardless, I believe that the effort of studying the human state-of-being still desperately NEEDS to include wisdom gleaned from non-human animals, nature & the elements, the fundamental expansion of our narrow mindsets to consider alternative sentiences, not to be afraid of the possibilities, but to be confident that our human percipience CAN and WILL handle it all, if we are willing to embrace new understanding with respect & for the sake of the greater good, not just of humankind, but all that we are intricately intertwined together with, inside a beautiful multidimensional tapestry of Being.
I’ve been badgering research institutes & researchers to consider this trajectory for serious study, especially efficacious if from the Autistic / neuroholographic viewpoint, but to little avail. Humans are still so obsessed by navel-gazing, I fear a self-destruct moment if we do not reach outwards to learn. Some scientists (S.Simard) are already proving what many Autistics always knew, even from childhood: that trees can & do communicate meaningfully. Therefore contemplating alternative sentiences even further than that of non-human animals. But Autism research is still stuck deep inside human-centric psychology, psychiatry, sociology etc disciplines. There is a vast universe out there yet to be explored, but few want to do so. Autistics do but without agency, we cannot do much. Yet. I still hope. In my lifetime? Will AI help?
I always enjoy working with veteran director and theatre maestro Peter Sau, probably the only director in Singapore that I love working with, because he understands my artistic/creative foci and my needs arising from my disabilities.
Here’s a video clip of my performance at the Singapore Writers Festival 2022 presented by ART:DIS, directed by Peter Sau. Small bits of it have been edited out, but it’s mostly intact. Watch it on ART:DIS’ Instagram page. The beautiful soundscape is by the talented Niran Jierapipatanakul, intern at ART:DIS.
For those Deaf/deaf and hard of hearing, or those unable to make out the spoken word because of the echo in the soundtrack, here is the script. For the blind/visually impaired, the sharp sounds you hear intermittently are made by my placards of key words falling to the ground.
The first episode of “Uniquely Me” – a series about autism and autistic lives in Singapore – aired last night on MediaCorp’s Chinese Channel 8. Immediately afterwards, there were rumblings and rants emerging from the adult autistic community in chat groups and on Facebook.
Background
Some contextual background is needed before I launch into my own perspectives and reactions to this twenty minute show.
Autistic people – we are an oppressed and traumatised, vulnerable and hurting community worldwide. As autistics, we are already predisposed towards hypersensitivity, detail orientation, and communicate with the world in ways unlike the normative. Add to this the accumulated collective cultural history of Autism (see Steve Silberman’s “Neurotribes” – the best book published thus far on the history of autism), and the specific situation here in Singapore, where the perception of autism as a whole is mired in the old medical model, and autistic people are generally presumed incompetent rather than competent, completely devoid of our own voice / voices: we have thus acquired a collective trauma, and individual heightened anxiety around the subject of Selfhood. The setting is a painfully raw, tender, largely confused and ignorant, and emotionally volatile scenario. It is not surprising, then, that many in the adult autistic community have reacted explosively, with anger and shock, at this very stark presentation of autistic persons with complex needs in the first episode. Continue reading →
Dawn-joy Leong 