It has taken me a long time to finally write about my appearance in the last episode of the series on Autism, “Uniquely Me – Episode 6“, which aired on MediaCorp’s Chinese Channel 8 , on 11 June 2019.
I’m honoured to be paired with Jun Wei, a fellow musician, in this feature. I thank director Bee Har Koah of Threesixzero films for her sensitive handling of the subject. It was a pleasure to work with her, and she did not disappoint my trust in her artistic integrity. My greatest fear each time I consent to be featured in public media of any kind is the twisted portrayal of “inspirational porn”, sensationalism and evocations of a grand pity-party. It did not happen in this series, and I felt the episode unfolded in a practical, unemotional way, offering concrete real-life glimpses into our lives.
I appreciate that the episode highlighted our artistry and our passion for music and art, rather than focusing on “overcoming the odds”. It did not create heroes out of us, but rather presented a human side to our parallel autistic embodiment.
I also love the way director Bee Har included Lucy in such a sensitive way. Lucy is truly my muse, closest companion, Canine Angel and lastly, my trained assistance dog. She has traversed with me, always watchful, always faithful, across seven years of adventure, tumultuous changes, unexpected achievement and inspired my concept and practice of Clement Space. I owe her my very life, I wouldn’t be where I am were it not for her steadfast and cogent presence.
Many have asked me whether I have directly benefitted (financially or career-wise) from all the exposure in the media. My answer is a definitive no. I have not received any grand offer of financial gain, fabulous professional engagements or that elusive thing that autistics all desire – a decent job commensurate with our skills and qualifications. Quite the opposite, in fact. I have said often that I find it stressful and anxiety-laden to be interviewed or featured this way. I am revealing intimate parts of my life, leaving myself open to criticism and gawking, and I never know if or when the journalist or feature director will be faithful to my guidelines and demands for accuracy and respectful portrayal. Thus far, I have been lucky to a great extent – I have managed to avoid being held up as “inspirational”, and the media coverage has been largely respectful according to my own terms. But why do I even do this, if it brings so much discomfort? My reasons are simple. This is my contribution to my autistic community, my way of advocating for respect, equity and understanding, presenting the human side of my autism, laying bare my own fragility for a chance that someone somewhere may be blessed by my derring-do, comforted by my facing life challenges with honesty, or persuaded by my courage to step forward into the harsh, unforgiving limelight.
We are all autistic, we share a common neurological function, we face similar challenges, yet we are all uniquely different individuals in a richly textured existence. Listen to us, learn from us, respect our narratives, and embrace us as part of the fabric of human existence.