This is a casual piece about my views on behaviourism in general, and my own lived-experience of accumulated trauma and vulnerability as a consequence. It is not an academic article, so I have not provided citations, though the reader can easily find supporting evidence using Google to do a search where interested.
My strong objection to programmes like ABA and all those behaviour-focused interventions that try to rigorously train Autistic people into mimicking acceptable normative behaviour, and unquestioning compliance to normative societal systems, is not only because they are generally hideously abusive and de-humanising, but more crucially devastating in practice, in my opinion and lived-experience, is the longterm, far-reaching harm that these programmes do to the organic, intrinsic functionality of the Autistic human at the very core. The Autistic person is violently cut away from their natural, unique instincts, and forced to adopt superficial behaviours that do not support the Autistic in any deeper meaningful way, leaving them incapacitated, quietly languishing, silently roaring, weeping in despair and grappling with hapless rage, captive subaltern inside the nauseating swirl of normative Neurocolonialism. It is therefore not surprising to find that the majority of Autistic persons who have grown up receiving ABA now report symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
One week ago, I made the above post in LinkedIn. This issue has been something I have been trying to address since returning to Singapore in late 2016. Back then, “inclusion” was not the huge buzz-word that it is nowadays. Large Autism forums at the time were being held without a single Autistic person or Autistic researcher present in the room. The voices of persons with disabilities were seldom ever heard at all, although there were beginnings of ‘feel-good’, ‘nice-nice’, ‘be-kind’ videos floating around. Autism “awareness” was only about “lighting it up blue”, and information about autism was the domain of the non-autistic, self-styled ‘experts’ with degrees in psychology but not an iota of lived-experience at all.
Since then, much has changed. Autistic, deaf and disabled voices in Singapore have slowly emerged into the foreground. This is a great thing. I am unsure whether my robust, sometimes blunt and brusque fist-shaking had very much to do with instigating change, but I do know I did play some small part in the churning, swirling, stirring process, alongside a small group of brave and outspoken PWDs and allies from the Disabled People’s Association, other arts practitioners, and allies in the government. From the ground, I know our PWD+allies’ (some almost reckless) outspokenness has opened tiny holes in the thick fog for other younger advocates to step through, and there are many capable disability advocates now doing very well. It was truly a community effort, of which I was merely a tiny spark. I have left the Disabled People’s Association, our entire old Board of Directors stepped down and made way for a brand new team. I am hopeful that new energy will bring better conditions. But we still have a long, long way to go.
It’s almost the end of April, and I have been trying to post a daily personal thought-piece on Linked-In on my “taking up space” as a proudly Autistic human in this grand swirl of humanity. Why Linked-In? Simply because I wanted to. Yes, I know it’s not really the kind of thing people post on Linked-In. I see that I am once again doing something almost nobody else is doing. But I am not bothered if nobody reads it or likes it or whatever. I am merely taking up space, holding space, nothing more grand, clever or fanciful. Lucy taught me how to enjoy a posture of meekness without relinquishing enjoyment and security in one’s unique Beingness. It is possible. Not always “comfortable”, but it is another form of Clement Space to me. I thrive better this way. Thank you, Lucy.
I am also wanting to do my part this April, as an Autistic human, in a month that is controversial – loathed by some Autistics and welcomed by others, the latter especially in my region of the world. But not as an Advocate, a label that was placed on me that I never asked for. The hat just did not fit well at all, though I wore it as best as I could, especially in my country when I first returned from Australia, when there was nobody else to stand in the gap. Now, I see there are many powerful advocates, the field of advocacy does not need me, not even in my own country anymore. To be honest, I am relieved. I have been on social media since the days when Facebook began as an invitation-only platform, and blogging was the only way to reach and connect with other Autistic humans. Back then, I did not worry about ‘likes’ of ‘followers’, I don’t think it was even a ‘thing’ at the time. I never did put much importance in this, I was reticent even when the ‘following’ and ‘liking’ started to trend into a full blown slugging match, though I did think that I ought to get in on the act a bit more, but of course failed miserably because my heart and soul were not aligned with that movement anyway, and now, at this point of my journey, it completely does not matter at all. The only caution and thought I have learned through the years to exercise is for my own safety and privacy, because there is so much that is awful about social media these days. For me, I maintain a presence because I want to, and because it is easier to update my few friends and supporters this way, but my main focus is on being a witness to my own journey, telling my personal story wherever I am welcomed, at every interstice I possibly can. My mission is simple. I do all nowadays in honour of Lucy Like-a-Charm, who showed me another dimension of perceiving, receiving and living, and how to be human in my own best possible way. I admit that the ability to choose this path is a luxury and privilege for which I remind myself to be grateful always. I just want to tell our story, nothing more.
This thought-piece is about my personal experience of the observation and upholding of diversity, equity, and inclusion, and receiving the supports I requested, during my latest adventure in Salzburg.
It was an amazing experience, being a part of such a groundbreaking, massive yet cohesive and well curated festival. (Catch snippets of Snoosphere in this video!)
Moving on ahead, I am looking forward to The BIG Anxiety Festival 2019. Stay tuned, everyone!
Dawn-joy Leong 