Here is my latest article, for Salzburg Global, about my most recent experience as a Fellow in their programme, Creating Futures: Art of Narratives, in April this year. It was not an autism or disability focused event, but I felt a gentle, un-intrusive and organic sense of inclusion that I had not before in other events, not even in the many events I’d attended centred around autism or disabilities. For a week in the beautiful Schloss Leopoldskron, we were simply a communion of humans from eclectic backgrounds, sharing intense passion and purpose. Thank you, Salzburg Global, so honoured to be a Fellow of this wonderful institution!
This is a casual piece about my views on behaviourism in general, and my own lived-experience of accumulated trauma and vulnerability as a consequence. It is not an academic article, so I have not provided citations, though the reader can easily find supporting evidence using Google to do a search where interested.
My strong objection to programmes like ABA and all those behaviour-focused interventions that try to rigorously train Autistic people into mimicking acceptable normative behaviour, and unquestioning compliance to normative societal systems, is not only because they are generally hideously abusive and de-humanising, but more crucially devastating in practice, in my opinion and lived-experience, is the longterm, far-reaching harm that these programmes do to the organic, intrinsic functionality of the Autistic human at the very core. The Autistic person is violently cut away from their natural, unique instincts, and forced to adopt superficial behaviours that do not support the Autistic in any deeper meaningful way, leaving them incapacitated, quietly languishing, silently roaring, weeping in despair and grappling with hapless rage, captive subaltern inside the nauseating swirl of normative Neurocolonialism. It is therefore not surprising to find that the majority of Autistic persons who have grown up receiving ABA now report symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Hello Friends, I just did my civic duty as a past awardee and participated in a short Instagram reel shot by MediaCorp to reach out to people for nominations to the Goh Chok Tong Enable Awards. If you know of any person/s with disability in Singapore who may fit the criteria, please do send in your nominations asap! Deadline 25th June for this year’s 2025 Award.
Everything I have done since 2012, I attribute to Lucy Like-a-Charm and the amazing all-encompassing role she has played in my life. Now, she continues to guide my way ahead. Without her, my 恩人，and without all my other wonderful human allies, mentors and supporters, 貴人， I would not be here today. Deepest gratitude.
One week ago, I made the above post in LinkedIn. This issue has been something I have been trying to address since returning to Singapore in late 2016. Back then, “inclusion” was not the huge buzz-word that it is nowadays. Large Autism forums at the time were being held without a single Autistic person or Autistic researcher present in the room. The voices of persons with disabilities were seldom ever heard at all, although there were beginnings of ‘feel-good’, ‘nice-nice’, ‘be-kind’ videos floating around. Autism “awareness” was only about “lighting it up blue”, and information about autism was the domain of the non-autistic, self-styled ‘experts’ with degrees in psychology but not an iota of lived-experience at all.
Since then, much has changed. Autistic, deaf and disabled voices in Singapore have slowly emerged into the foreground. This is a great thing. I am unsure whether my robust, sometimes blunt and brusque fist-shaking had very much to do with instigating change, but I do know I did play some small part in the churning, swirling, stirring process, alongside a small group of brave and outspoken PWDs and allies from the Disabled People’s Association, other arts practitioners, and allies in the government. From the ground, I know our PWD+allies’ (some almost reckless) outspokenness has opened tiny holes in the thick fog for other younger advocates to step through, and there are many capable disability advocates now doing very well. It was truly a community effort, of which I was merely a tiny spark. I have left the Disabled People’s Association, our entire old Board of Directors stepped down and made way for a brand new team. I am hopeful that new energy will bring better conditions. But we still have a long, long way to go.
Update: Our memoir-fantasie has been renamed, “Lucy Like-a-Charm,” in honour of my beloved Lucy.
Scheherazade’s Sea Website is Active! Please check out our ongoing activities, photos, musings, and works-in-progress at https://scheherazadessea.wordpress.com/.
Above is one of my favourite photos of Lucy and myself, taken in 2014, in Sydney, Australia. We are cuddling, leaning intimately cheek to cheek, eyes closed in peaceful contentment. I wore a fuchsia pink hoodie and Lucy is wrapped snugly in a red flannel snoodie that I sewed for her. We had just moved into a dilapidated house along William Street, Paddington. It was old, and cold, but we were warm and cosy together, curled up in a small couch with a bright pink throw rug. I created a fantasia image from the original photograph, placing us in the midst of a flurry of large, round peonies, against blue sky and white clouds. The poem, “Wake Up in My Dreams”, which will also be the title of our epic memoir-fantasie, when completed, appears on the right of the image:
Lucy Like-a-Charm, love of my life, and a central figure in my journey, left the mortal realm in 2023. Since then, I have begun working on the final chapter of our epic multimodal transdisciplinary autobiography. It has been a bumpy process – churning, swirling, turning, tumbling, weeping, laughing, mourning, rejoicing, flying and falling all at once. I even survived a near-death experience a few months after Lucy departed, which forced me to stop working outside of home for an entire year. Art, with passion and purpose, is never easy. And I know that I signed up for the challenge when I broke away from the Golden Cage of pampered subjugation. There was never a moment that I regretted this concerted decision and action. But after Lucy suddenly left me, I was thrown into a dark vortex, lost in a desolation I had never known before. I simply couldn’t imagine a life without her anymore. Yet, she returned to me, vibrant and resonant inside my grieving spirit, bringing resolution to unanswered questions that I had written and sung about long before her appearance in my life. Lucy continued to be my channel of Divine Grace. And thus, I continued to live, and now, I embrace the honour of a profound Grief, the other side of Lucy’s perfect Love. A grief that did not break me, but instead is holding me up and leading me gently onward, even in the midst of my yearning to be with her again. I now see life and death from a different perspective, it is as if I have entered a whole new paradigm of existence where there is no longer a clear demarcation between the two.
A thought piece for Autism Month, reposted from Scheherazade’s Sea’s site, original title “Travelogue 4 – Gratitude”.
Thanking the grass. I have begun this new habit, exulting in an enhanced awareness, a practice for which I want to thank Salzburg Global, because this genteel ‘revelation’ emerged from my week long experience immersed in the beauty of the Schloss Leopoldskron, while attending their exciting programme, “Creating Futures: Art of Narrative”.
It’s almost the end of April, and I have been trying to post a daily personal thought-piece on Linked-In on my “taking up space” as a proudly Autistic human in this grand swirl of humanity. Why Linked-In? Simply because I wanted to. Yes, I know it’s not really the kind of thing people post on Linked-In. I see that I am once again doing something almost nobody else is doing. But I am not bothered if nobody reads it or likes it or whatever. I am merely taking up space, holding space, nothing more grand, clever or fanciful. Lucy taught me how to enjoy a posture of meekness without relinquishing enjoyment and security in one’s unique Beingness. It is possible. Not always “comfortable”, but it is another form of Clement Space to me. I thrive better this way. Thank you, Lucy.
I am also wanting to do my part this April, as an Autistic human, in a month that is controversial – loathed by some Autistics and welcomed by others, the latter especially in my region of the world. But not as an Advocate, a label that was placed on me that I never asked for. The hat just did not fit well at all, though I wore it as best as I could, especially in my country when I first returned from Australia, when there was nobody else to stand in the gap. Now, I see there are many powerful advocates, the field of advocacy does not need me, not even in my own country anymore. To be honest, I am relieved. I have been on social media since the days when Facebook began as an invitation-only platform, and blogging was the only way to reach and connect with other Autistic humans. Back then, I did not worry about ‘likes’ of ‘followers’, I don’t think it was even a ‘thing’ at the time. I never did put much importance in this, I was reticent even when the ‘following’ and ‘liking’ started to trend into a full blown slugging match, though I did think that I ought to get in on the act a bit more, but of course failed miserably because my heart and soul were not aligned with that movement anyway, and now, at this point of my journey, it completely does not matter at all. The only caution and thought I have learned through the years to exercise is for my own safety and privacy, because there is so much that is awful about social media these days. For me, I maintain a presence because I want to, and because it is easier to update my few friends and supporters this way, but my main focus is on being a witness to my own journey, telling my personal story wherever I am welcomed, at every interstice I possibly can. My mission is simple. I do all nowadays in honour of Lucy Like-a-Charm, who showed me another dimension of perceiving, receiving and living, and how to be human in my own best possible way. I admit that the ability to choose this path is a luxury and privilege for which I remind myself to be grateful always. I just want to tell our story, nothing more.
This thought-piece is about my personal experience of the observation and upholding of diversity, equity, and inclusion, and receiving the supports I requested, during my latest adventure in Salzburg.
My thought-post today in LinkedIn. I am seldom there, because it’s not my favourite milieu, but the AI experts I mentioned are very active in LinkedIn, so I posted this there to let them know their work has impacted me. I always try to recognise people who have helped or inspired me in some way or other.
Image description in Alt Text but copied here too: White on black background, sketch of Lucy greyhound. Nose tilted downwards towards her left, eyes looking down enquiringly, her ears are relaxed but perked, ready to take on new information. She wears a blue brocade collar with a large red flower. This sketch is from a photo of Lucy taken at SYNC Sg 2019, I was sitting on the floor, exhausted in near shutdown, and she got up from her fluffy mat, and was looking at me, always caring always alert to my needs.
Sketch of Lucy Like-a-Charm – speaking without words.
I don’t know much about AI, but I became interested after hearing Wan Wei, Soh & Ammar Younas in a panel speaking passionately about AI during SIBOS2024 in Beijing. I’ve also been reading articles posted by them & Tony Fish. As an Autistic autism researcher & multimodal transdisciplinary artist focusing on alternative sentience / empathic resonance and parallel embodiments, AI fascinates me. In an early experiment at my university in Australia, more than 10 years ago, I found that I was far more comfortable alone in a room with a humanoid robot, than with a real human stranger, & the experience stayed in my mind. That comfort level was not at all close to what I enjoy when I am with amiable non-human animals, nature or the elements, but definitely better than with humans. Now, thinking about AI, and the fact that AI entities are already beginning to develop “personalities” of their own – fundamentally, if AI is ‘fed’ the right kinds of information about neurodiversity, Autistic, neurodivergent, neuroholographic states of Beingness, would it then not follow that the AI entity would be a far more comfortable, comforting & even, dare I say it, empathic companion than the average misinformed, prejudiced & discriminating ‘real’ human? And then, the question: Who therefore can be said to possess more “humanity”? The AI entity developed with the right perceptions & attitudes, or the average human holding onto erroneous & harmful notions without wanting to expand their thinking?
Regardless, I believe that the effort of studying the human state-of-being still desperately NEEDS to include wisdom gleaned from non-human animals, nature & the elements, the fundamental expansion of our narrow mindsets to consider alternative sentiences, not to be afraid of the possibilities, but to be confident that our human percipience CAN and WILL handle it all, if we are willing to embrace new understanding with respect & for the sake of the greater good, not just of humankind, but all that we are intricately intertwined together with, inside a beautiful multidimensional tapestry of Being.
I’ve been badgering research institutes & researchers to consider this trajectory for serious study, especially efficacious if from the Autistic / neuroholographic viewpoint, but to little avail. Humans are still so obsessed by navel-gazing, I fear a self-destruct moment if we do not reach outwards to learn. Some scientists (S.Simard) are already proving what many Autistics always knew, even from childhood: that trees can & do communicate meaningfully. Therefore contemplating alternative sentiences even further than that of non-human animals. But Autism research is still stuck deep inside human-centric psychology, psychiatry, sociology etc disciplines. There is a vast universe out there yet to be explored, but few want to do so. Autistics do but without agency, we cannot do much. Yet. I still hope. In my lifetime? Will AI help?
As promised to some of my friends and followers of my pages, blogs and website, here is the transcript of my convocation speech tonight at the SUSS Convocation 2023: Session 3 – Undergraduate Programmes (NSHD). The Youtube ‘live’ video (link below) does not have captions, so I have put my transcript here.
Mr Aaron Tan, Member of SUSS Board of Trustees; distinguished guests, graduates, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for this honour. My heartiest congratulations on this very special occasion.
I cannot tell you how to make a lot of money, rise up the corporate ladder, or how to achieve worldly success. I have never managed any of these. I owe my very existence today to a few loyal friends, my one supportive sister and a gentle yet magnanimous creature called Lucy Like-a-Charm, a Greyhound rescued from the cruel racing industry in Australia.
(Slide 1 – Lucy Like-a-Charm, a black Greyhound is lying on a white puffy quilt, head upright, looking at camera, ears perked up and spread out, mouth open in a happy smile.)
So, what can an ordinary person like me bring to this milestone occasion? Please allow me to share a glimpse of my life’s journey. I was born in 1965, the year of Singapore’s independence. Like many in my generation, I found out my Autistic identity only in my early forties. I’ve also struggled with a lifelong, painful medical condition.
Dawn-joy Leong 