Dreams, Passion and Purpose – SUSS 2023 10 10 Convocation Speech

As promised to some of my friends and followers of my pages, blogs and website, here is the transcript of my convocation speech tonight at the SUSS Convocation 2023: Session 3 – Undergraduate Programmes (NSHD). The Youtube ‘live’ video (link below) does not have captions, so I have put my transcript here.


Mr Aaron Tan, Member of SUSS Board of Trustees; distinguished guests, graduates, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for this honour. My heartiest congratulations on this very special occasion.

I cannot tell you how to make a lot of money, rise up the corporate ladder, or how to achieve worldly success. I have never managed any of these. I owe my very existence today to a few loyal friends, my one supportive sister and a gentle yet magnanimous creature called Lucy Like-a-Charm, a Greyhound rescued from the cruel racing industry in Australia.

(Slide 1 – Lucy Like-a-Charm, a black Greyhound is lying on a white puffy quilt, head upright, looking at camera, ears perked up and spread out, mouth open in a happy smile.)

So, what can an ordinary person like me bring to this milestone occasion? Please allow me to share a glimpse of my life’s journey. I was born in 1965, the year of Singapore’s independence. Like many in my generation, I found out my Autistic identity only in my early forties. I’ve also struggled with a lifelong, painful medical condition.

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Creating Clement Space: Collaborative Design for Accessible Inclusion

Apologies for the late post. This is my latest article for the National Gallery Singapore, about creating Clement Space in public places – conducive environments for restoration and respite – that is accessible and inclusive. Please click on title that will link to the article on the NGS website.

Creating Clement Space: Collaborative Design for Accessible Inclusion

Lucy Like-a-Charm – Elemental Empathic Resonance.

Author’s note:
This piece took me awhile to complete, because I have been struggling with the devastating aftermath of Lucy’s death on my mind, body and every part of my existence. I was invited some time ago to write a reflection for a blog-journal, but upon submitting it on 4th July 2023 at 14:22 Singapore time, I was told by the editor (in the UK) that they will push back my article to end July, because the editor was too busy with other things. Coincidentally, they have just published another piece expressing almost identical thoughts, though written in a completely different style, of course. I am fine with that. The more people asking the same questions, the louder our voices become.

I have therefore decided to put mine here, unedited, with date and time reflecting the exact moment my piece was submitted via cyber-waves into the Great Unknown. Whether or not the journal’s editor decides to publish it in the near future, when and with what edits they deem fit, is immaterial to me. The Artist respects the autonomous entity of The Work, which will forge onwards along its own inexorable path, free from the tyranny of control and manipulation at the hands of humans preoccupied by and with human-centric glorification and maniacal demands of human ego. After some deeper contemplation, I feel that The Work, in this embodiment, is telling me that it would like to be launched from this Clement Space, an interstice created for me, for us both, by Lucy, because it is in its very purest essence an intimate tribute to Lucy, and to her and only her, do I really owe anything at all. When the Artist frees The Work, the Artist shall also be emancipated. I love you so, Lucy Like-a-Charm, thank you for teaching me such profound sensing.

Content warning: suicide and death is discussed in this article.


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Scheherazade of the Sea – ART:DIS+SWF

I always enjoy working with veteran director and theatre maestro Peter Sau, probably the only director in Singapore that I love working with, because he understands my artistic/creative foci and my needs arising from my disabilities.

Here’s a video clip of my performance at the Singapore Writers Festival 2022 presented by ART:DIS, directed by Peter Sau. Small bits of it have been edited out, but it’s mostly intact. Watch it on ART:DIS’ Instagram page. The beautiful soundscape is by the talented Niran Jierapipatanakul, intern at ART:DIS.

For those Deaf/deaf and hard of hearing, or those unable to make out the spoken word because of the echo in the soundtrack, here is the script. For the blind/visually impaired, the sharp sounds you hear intermittently are made by my placards of key words falling to the ground.


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worth

It’s time for the next round of awards. The above video was made by Mediacorp to herald this upcoming event.

I mean it when I say simply that I am at best a reluctant disability advocate. My worldly “achievements” have never been a part of my conscious goals, whether long or short term. There was just one dream that I made huge effort, and ultimately extreme sacrifice, to attain: my Ph.D and the journey towards finding Selfhood, which are intertwined and inseparable. Those years as a Ph.D scholar were the very best years of my life. No regrets at all. The best thing I have done for myself. The subsequent awards, accolades, recognition and media attention were and still are secondary, quite unexpected and, to me, a burden even, which I bear as a consequence of the universe’s generosity towards me. Paying it forward.

My worth is not even remotely associated in any way any social commendation. I said it very clearly in the first chapter of my Ph.D dissertation, my path is an inexorable one, I am merely custodian and facilitator to the artistry that seems to emanate from me, but which I know is actually the result of my connection with the vastness of the universe. It is an entity in itself, with a path of its own. I follow and I allow myself to be a channel for its expressions, to the best of my capabilities. The process – the journey itself – is my reward and honour. I am less interested in the final product or what the system refers to as “outcomes” which I find dreary and at odds with my artistic quest. How does a true artist actually measure “outcomes” in terms of clicks, views, audience numbers, churning and turning statistics? It cheapens the art, and produces mediocrity. The same with measurements for prizes and awards. The structure itself is faulty. Not every winner is a true winner. Some winners are there because of political and social reasons, some because of sheer determination and relentless, repeated attempts, and then the few who truly deserve the recognition. I am Autistic, the social-political mechanisms of the normative world are a puzzle to me, but I accept that I have to live in and try to survive and even thrive in this alienating clime. Yet, in my quest to navigate this minefield, I am not at all competitive. Yes, I do speak out when I see an injustice or moral / ethical aberration – often bluntly, without the nice-nice frills and embellishments that normative society so values and insists on – but in truth, I am no warrior at heart. I merely wish to Be – undisturbed, well supported, and freed to give back to others the blessings I have received.

Thank you, world, for the amazing awards and tributes, I am grateful to have somehow unwittingly stumbled upon them. But all I really wish and yearn for is Clement Space, with Lucy, and facilitation to follow what is organic and intrinsic.

So, if there is one takeaway from this part of my adventure, as a ‘prominent’ disability advocate, it is this: YOU are worth it. Disabled or not. Your worth is within you. And only you can determine this. All else is ancillary.

International Women’s Day 2022 – Interview

I do apologise for not keeping up with this website. I think I need to ask for help here. But I’ll do things cautious autistic style. In the meantime, here is the latest article to emerge on yours truly.

Thank you, True Colors Festival, for making this interview so enjoyable for me, and it’s so encouraging to see my country finally beginning to embrace neurodiversity respectfully. Baby steps still, but everything has to have a humble beginning.

Women at work: Dr Dawn-Joy Leong

(Please click on title or photo to link to the article in the True Colors Festival VOICE blog page. Thank you!)

Scheherazade’s Sea: continuing journey, 2021

Scheherazade’s Sea 2021 was yet another groundbreaking work, at least in my country: led by a disabled artist, featuring other disabled artists, with excellent disability support professionals, and Singapore’s most experienced director in the arts and disability sector. It was a bumpy ride, to say the least. But I am ever grateful to our team for their dedication to my mission, their strength and verve, and especially to my closest ally, Director Peter Sau for his unwavering loyalty, even when things were rough and uncertain. The greatest practical challenge I faced in this project was honouring my own ethics of practising true inclusion the way I feel it ought to be practised. The grant I was awarded was a small mainstream grant, for an experimental work-in-progress, but with no additional allowance for disability support. Therefore, if I wished to provide any disability support to my cast at all, the expenses would have to be gouged out from elsewhere in the budget. I refused to ask my cast to pay out of pocket for anything as far as I could help it, unlike how other projects claiming “inclusivity” make their PWD participants contribute their time, effort and energies in exchange for “exposure” and nothing more, and so the money came from my own artist’s fee, as well as all other technical editing work. The project stretched across a year. That meant that I had to find other means to support myself. It also demanded that I single-handedly record, edit, create all the special effects, captioning, labelling, video editing and rendering etc. I had never attempted this level of technical work before, and so, completely untrained, I had to learn everything from scratch. I also had to procure a faster computer in order to do the rotoscoping effectively. There was no budget for this kind of equipment. I was working 18 hour days in the final stages of the production, despite a fragile physical condition. My medical bills hit the roof, just so I could stay alive, awake and still functioning, in order to complete the work. I owe my survival to Lucy’s constant companionship, and the strength and inspiration to keep going that she brought to the darkest nights and most frustrating moments of failure during this amazing learning adventure. Rotoscoping was the most difficult technique, which I still could not quite master, and that is quite evident in the outcome. But I remind myself that it was a monumental feat to be proud of anyway, and this was meant to be an experimental work, not a polished, slick piece of videography. This experience highlighted the lack of recognition in our arts sector for the needs of artists with disabilities. A complete disregard, in fact. But I have no regrets whatsoever, the journey in itself was worth all the excruciating pain, because of Lucy who was by my side throughout, and the wonderful humans who walked side by side all the way with me, without complaining, never losing faith and trust in me.

(Watch full video on Youtube if it cannot be played here – 31minutes)

Scheherazade’s Sea: continuing journey, 2021, was a year-long project. There were many “firsts”. Personally, I have always presented my “Scheherazade’s Sea” series as a solo artist – creator and performer. This rendition unpacks the continuing adventures of Scheherazade with a brand new approach: Scheherazade was played by the talented singer, performer Claire Teo, and joining the team were two other artists, Timothy Lee and Ariel Koh. This made Scheherazade’s Sea: continuing journey, 2021, not only disabled-led (conceptualised, executed and co-directed by me) but also a work featuring a cast of differently disabled artists at various stages of their artistic journeys.

Freelance artists around the world struggle to make ends meet. In Singapore, where the arts is even less valued by society, this struggle can sometimes be very fierce. For freelance disabled artists wanting to turn professional, and departing from the charity models, the scenario is bleak. But artists always hold on to hope, keeping our dreams alive even if by a thin thread. Since Scheherazade first appeared in 2010, my personal and professional journey has been an amazing one, at times tumultuous, but always incredibly thrilling and never boring. It is a story of survival against the odds and unexpected achievements – all of which I owe to my party of valiant human supporters and to Lucy Like-a-Charm. Upon returning to Singapore, I decided that this part of my life’s journey will be one that is actively “paying it forward” for as long as I can create art.

Scheherazade’s Sea 2021, is about newness – finding new friends and loyal supporters, and being gifted the honour and blessing of Clement Space in the form of a differently embodied creature named Lucy Like-a-Charm. In honour of all the people who have supported me so generously in a plethora of ways, I decided to now use Scheherazade’s Sea 2021 to provide practical spaces for other disabled artists in Singapore, open up mentorship and learning experiences they may not otherwise have access to without the benefit of an overseas education (which I had the privilege of enjoying). Beyond the narrative and multi-dimensional aspects of the work itself, my intentions were for this work to be a true-to-live rigorous yet safe space for professional training and experience for the cast, wherever they may be along their own paths. I could only do this, of course, with continued support from my faithful friends, my younger sister Althea, and my confrère Peter Sau, who began my Singapore journey for me. I was inspired by Peter’s vigour and spirit in his seminal work “Project Tandem” and his role in “The Singapore ‘d’ Monologues,” and am thankful for our serendipitous meeting – because, being autistic, I have no idea how to network like neurotypical people do and so every angel in my life is to me truly a gift of providence. Thank you, Peter!

Scheherazade’s Sea 2021 is also a practice-based research into navigating the realm of the so-called ‘invisible disability’ as well as un-noticed vulnerability, and forging new strategies to artistic practice that provides access in ways that are unavailable in traditional approaches and methods.

A note on why I continue to make this work freely accessible to all on Youtube, despite having been told to keep it away from the public eye in order to pitch it to various festivals and events in Singapore and overseas. When I created Scheherazade’s Sea, way back in 2010, I meant it to be a richly textured work that everyone and anyone could easily partake of, without exclusions or arbitrary boundaries to separate people. That intent still prevails today, and even if it means no festival or big event would now want to feature this work, it is ok. The latter will be a feather in my cap and that of all the cast and crew, most definitely, but I prefer still to stay true to my raison d’être here:

“It is not my purpose to ‘fix’ what is ‘broken’ but to empower beauty
in the vulnerable and unnoticed.”
©Dawn-joy Leong 2010

I hope you enjoy the video and if you are a curator, we would, of course, love the opportunity to be featured in your festival or curated collective show if you understand my decision to make this video even more widely publicly available.

If you’d like to read my opening speech at the online premiere, please click on this link.

Video excerpts below, if you’d rather watch small, key segments instead of the long full version.

Goh Chok Tong Enable Awards 2021

Yesterday was International Day of Persons with Disabilities. I had the honour of receiving the Goh Chok Tong Enable Awards 2021 UBS Achievement Award. Thank you to ARTDIS (formerly Very Special Arts) for nominating me, and to all my steadfast and loyal supporters in my personal and professional life who’ve believed in my journey and my quest, many of whom have gone outside of their own comfort zones to support me without ever once trying to manipulate or dictate my chosen path. It is this privilege of supported autonomy that is driving me to pay it forward, to offer what I have been given to those who may not have the same supports. This is my wish for all persons with disabilities, that we are given our rights for autonomy with the supports that will help us grow into our dreams and visions. Presume competence. Always. Even though it may not look the same as what you envision it to be.

My raison d’être:

It is not my purpose to ‘fix’ what is ‘broken’ but to empower beauty in the vulnerable and unseen. (©Dawn-joy Leong, 2010)