I do apologise for not keeping up with this website. I think I need to ask for help here. But I’ll do things cautious autistic style. In the meantime, here is the latest article to emerge on yours truly.
Thank you, True Colors Festival, for making this interview so enjoyable for me, and it’s so encouraging to see my country finally beginning to embrace neurodiversity respectfully. Baby steps still, but everything has to have a humble beginning.
Scheherazade’s Sea 2021 was yet another groundbreaking work, at least in my country: led by a disabled artist, featuring other disabled artists, with excellent disability support professionals, and Singapore’s most experienced director in the arts and disability sector. It was a bumpy ride, to say the least. But I am ever grateful to our team for their dedication to my mission, their strength and verve, and especially to my closest ally, Director Peter Sau for his unwavering loyalty, even when things were rough and uncertain. The greatest practical challenge I faced in this project was honouring my own ethics of practising true inclusion the way I feel it ought to be practised. The grant I was awarded was a small mainstream grant, for an experimental work-in-progress, but with no additional allowance for disability support. Therefore, if I wished to provide any disability support to my cast at all, the expenses would have to be gouged out from elsewhere in the budget. I refused to ask my cast to pay out of pocket for anything as far as I could help it, unlike how other projects claiming “inclusivity” make their PWD participants contribute their time, effort and energies in exchange for “exposure” and nothing more, and so the money came from my own artist’s fee, as well as all other technical editing work. The project stretched across a year. That meant that I had to find other means to support myself. It also demanded that I single-handedly record, edit, create all the special effects, captioning, labelling, video editing and rendering etc. I had never attempted this level of technical work before, and so, completely untrained, I had to learn everything from scratch. I also had to procure a faster computer in order to do the rotoscoping effectively. There was no budget for this kind of equipment. I was working 18 hour days in the final stages of the production, despite a fragile physical condition. My medical bills hit the roof, just so I could stay alive, awake and still functioning, in order to complete the work. I owe my survival to Lucy’s constant companionship, and the strength and inspiration to keep going that she brought to the darkest nights and most frustrating moments of failure during this amazing learning adventure. Rotoscoping was the most difficult technique, which I still could not quite master, and that is quite evident in the outcome. But I remind myself that it was a monumental feat to be proud of anyway, and this was meant to be an experimental work, not a polished, slick piece of videography. This experience highlighted the lack of recognition in our arts sector for the needs of artists with disabilities. A complete disregard, in fact. But I have no regrets whatsoever, the journey in itself was worth all the excruciating pain, because of Lucy who was by my side throughout, and the wonderful humans who walked side by side all the way with me, without complaining, never losing faith and trust in me.
(Watch full video on Youtube if it cannot be played here – 31minutes)
Scheherazade’s Sea: continuing journey, 2021, was a year-long project. There were many “firsts”. Personally, I have always presented my “Scheherazade’s Sea” series as a solo artist – creator and performer. This rendition unpacks the continuing adventures of Scheherazade with a brand new approach: Scheherazade was played by the talented singer, performer Claire Teo, and joining the team were two other artists, Timothy Lee and Ariel Koh. This made Scheherazade’s Sea: continuing journey, 2021, not only disabled-led (conceptualised, executed and co-directed by me) but also a work featuring a cast of differently disabled artists at various stages of their artistic journeys.
Freelance artists around the world struggle to make ends meet. In Singapore, where the arts is even less valued by society, this struggle can sometimes be very fierce. For freelance disabled artists wanting to turn professional, and departing from the charity models, the scenario is bleak. But artists always hold on to hope, keeping our dreams alive even if by a thin thread. Since Scheherazade first appeared in 2010, my personal and professional journey has been an amazing one, at times tumultuous, but always incredibly thrilling and never boring. It is a story of survival against the odds and unexpected achievements – all of which I owe to my party of valiant human supporters and to Lucy Like-a-Charm. Upon returning to Singapore, I decided that this part of my life’s journey will be one that is actively “paying it forward” for as long as I can create art.
Scheherazade’s Sea 2021, is about newness – finding new friends and loyal supporters, and being gifted the honour and blessing of Clement Space in the form of a differently embodied creature named Lucy Like-a-Charm. In honour of all the people who have supported me so generously in a plethora of ways, I decided to now use Scheherazade’s Sea 2021 to provide practical spaces for other disabled artists in Singapore, open up mentorship and learning experiences they may not otherwise have access to without the benefit of an overseas education (which I had the privilege of enjoying). Beyond the narrative and multi-dimensional aspects of the work itself, my intentions were for this work to be a true-to-live rigorous yet safe space for professional training and experience for the cast, wherever they may be along their own paths. I could only do this, of course, with continued support from my faithful friends, my younger sister Althea, and my confrΓ¨rePeter Sau, who began my Singapore journey for me. I was inspired by Peter’s vigour and spirit in his seminal work “Project Tandem” and his role in “The Singapore ‘d’ Monologues,” and am thankful for our serendipitous meeting – because, being autistic, I have no idea how to network like neurotypical people do and so every angel in my life is to me truly a gift of providence. Thank you, Peter!
Scheherazade’s Sea 2021 is also a practice-based research into navigating the realm of the so-called ‘invisible disability’ as well as un-noticed vulnerability, and forging new strategies to artistic practice that provides access in ways that are unavailable in traditional approaches and methods.
A note on why I continue to make this work freely accessible to all on Youtube, despite having been told to keep it away from the public eye in order to pitch it to various festivals and events in Singapore and overseas. When I created Scheherazade’s Sea, way back in 2010, I meant it to be a richly textured work that everyone and anyone could easily partake of, without exclusions or arbitrary boundaries to separate people. That intent still prevails today, and even if it means no festival or big event would now want to feature this work, it is ok. The latter will be a feather in my cap and that of all the cast and crew, most definitely, but I prefer still to stay true to my raison d’Γͺtre here:
I hope you enjoy the video and if you are a curator, we would, of course, love the opportunity to be featured in your festival or curated collective show if you understand my decision to make this video even more widely publicly available.
If you’d like to read my opening speech at the online premiere, please click on this link.
Video excerpts below, if you’d rather watch small, key segments instead of the long full version.
Yesterday was International Day of Persons with Disabilities. I had the honour of receiving the Goh Chok Tong Enable Awards 2021 UBS Achievement Award. Thank you to ARTDIS (formerly Very Special Arts) for nominating me, and to all my steadfast and loyal supporters in my personal and professional life who’ve believed in my journey and my quest, many of whom have gone outside of their own comfort zones to support me without ever once trying to manipulate or dictate my chosen path. It is this privilege of supported autonomy that is driving me to pay it forward, to offer what I have been given to those who may not have the same supports. This is my wish for all persons with disabilities, that we are given our rights for autonomy with the supports that will help us grow into our dreams and visions. Presume competence. Always. Even though it may not look the same as what you envision it to be.
After a year of hard work, we have finally launched our new charity! K9 Assistance (Ltd) Singapore is Singaporeβs first and only charity organisation focusing on assistance dogs for the disabled. We are committed to educate, create better understanding, awareness and acceptance, as well as eventually match assistance dogs with disabled people.
In this video, I announced Lucyβs retirement from active duty as my assistance dog. She will continue to share her special joy as K9 Assistanceβs Ambassadog!
Follow us on Facebook at K9 Assistance Ltd Singapore. Join our group, engage in discussions, ask questions and help spread the awareness and acceptance!
Sonia has an amazing way with words. It doesn’t need to be a lengthy piece, in fact, her words are so lithe and fluid, yet exquisitely penetrating and precise, that I am left catching my breath at the sharp, deft unlocking of a wealth of unspoken, unworded meaning. And, in an uncanny way, each and every time I am incapable of bringing into the tangible realm what I wish to express, somehow, Sonia’s words will give strong yet delicate voice to the rhythmic humming resonating in my being.
“How rare it is to see people with complex needs just being. Humming is natural, and nothing is dressed-up; this isnβt βspecial needsβ for consumption. Thereβs no attempt to exoticise or glamorise our being. The camera captures ordinary moments valuing autistic language and expression on our terms.”
This is exactly what first hit me right there at my core, when I first watched the film. It unpacks our meanings, our world, on our terms.
Actually, I watched it three times, each time catching different details and sensory echoes. In fact, I’ve also run it over and over again in the background, allowing different aspects of it to weave in and out of my consciousness, meandering and winding around caverns of sensory subconscious as I engage in different light tasks. I love the clattering sounds, the staccato, the ripples, the appoggiatura and trills, the sudden drop in levels, the pitter patter of rain like crisps dancing inside a foil coated box…
And then, Sonia says this:
“It suddenly strikes me that this film feels like home to me because this is where I began. Thereβs a circularity in writing this piece for Project Art Works, which underlines its immense importance as an artwork. As a young art therapist, I was employed in a residential setting for adults with complex needs; not knowing that I was myself autistic until very many years later. Since then, Iβve come to recognise aspects of myself in those with more complex needs than my own, but as a younger person I had no way of understanding why I was so drawn to this world. Years of my life have been wasted and lost.”
Wasted and lost! Wasted AND lost! WASTED and lost! Wasted and LOST! These words sound like bells, whose echoes and reverberations fill my chest cavity, pounding against my rib cage. I think of the bells inside Magdelen College Tower on the first of May.
Everything is there, embedded in Sonia’s three words. This world that is so simply presented in the film, a realm so full, so abundant with wonderment.
When I first read Searle’s review, pronouncing it “problematic” without any further explanation, a searing hot rage shot through my core. I was shaking with fury, yet hurt, it brought back horrific wound trauma, I know that kind of dismissal too well, flicking away the rich tapestry of my multi-textured world like crumbs off a table, that neuronormative gesture of disdain so ponderous, so callous, so crude in its garish ignorance.
But then, after the film had played umpteen times like a comforting echo in my senses, I now feel sad. Sad for Searle and those like him, who are unable to access and luxuriate in our world, who stand outside and sweep at crumbs on neuronormative cafe tables, never noticing the flow, the undulating rhythm, the shuddering patterns, and the tiny clicking, chirping sounds the specks make as they fall, fall, fall to the groaning, giggling ground. A tragedy, to me, not to be able to resonate with the richness that is our multidimensional universe. This is the true loss. Yet, do they know of this loss?
Sonia’s words again, in her other article responding to Searle’s review:
“This film speaks to me in my language. This is mysensory world. For me, Illuminating the Wilderness is a rare and beautiful thing, and I feel sorry for those who canβt see it. Our immersive connection to the sensory world can feel vast and expansive β it is beyond words. This is supremely exciting to us, and joyfully fulfilling. Itβs why we donβt need to people so much β we have this!”
Yes, we do indeed, and what a wonderful world it is!
Today is International Day of Persons with Disabilities.
Lucy and I spent the afternoon at Eden Hall with the British High Commissioner Ms Kara Owen CVO, and British Council’s Director of Arts and Creative Industries, Dr Sarah Meisch Lionetto, and theatre maestro and close collaborator Peter Sau.
Lucy Like-a-Charm was there too, in one of her last public work engagements as my assistance dog.
Scheherazade’s Sea: stories & songs from a hidden world. 2020.
Dear Friends, here is my most recent work. A fully digitalised re-arrangement of the original Scheherazade’s Sea, 2010.
Welcome to βScheherazadeβs Sea: stories and songs from a hidden world.β
In the next twenty minutes or so, through video, stories, poetry and songs, you will see, hear and experience tiny reflections from my Autistic world.
The title is inspired by Scheherazade in the βArabian Nightsβ folk tales, whose stories to the wicked Sultan helped her survive and saved her life.
My Scheherazade is an Autistic girl, journeying alone through an unkind world, where she encounters confusing twists and turns of lies, betrayal and disappointment. When at last, she begins to embrace and love her unique Autistic self with courage and determination, Scheherazade discovers that her Autistic world, Scheherazadeβs Sea, while misunderstood by others, is actually a beautiful one, full of wonderment and hope, a deep and wide ocean alive with infinite possibilities. It is then, that she finds strength within to continue along her journey, bravely embracing her unique Autistic Joy.
βScheherazadeβs Sea: stories and songs from a hidden worldβ is fully digitalised and revised from its original version, which was performed in Hong Kong in 2010, and The World Stage Design Festival in Cardiff, U.K. in 2013.
Sound engineering by Karen Low (Singapore) Portrait of Scheherazade by Kateryna Fury (USA) Little Duckling narrated by Sumita Majumdar (UK)
Supported by the National Arts Council Singapore & SG Culture Anywhere.
Launched yesterday, “Clement Space @Suwon, 2020” and “An Olfactory Map of Sydney, 2017” is part of a show at the Suwon Art Museum, South Korea. (00:40 – 01:00)
Thank you to Jinseon and everyone in the team who sought me out and connected with me, I’ve had a wonderful working experience with you. Everyone is so kind and polite, a lot for me to learn!
Here is the Korean write up, for those who know the language:
I love the quietude of what people are calling “self-isolation” and “distancing”. I am one of those autists who delight in inhabiting my own little bubble of presence. Yet, I am unable to quell the force majeure of interconnectivity, and what my mind intuits and decodes is quietly shattering the gentleness of solitude.
My Autistic Brain, yes, blame that brain. All those little details, patterns, rhythmic sequences unfolding, unpacking and evolving. The minuscule bits and bobs that reach out with mournful tendrils, grasp, touch and intertwine across a massive expansive network of misery, fear, anxiety and pain. The final few seconds of gasping, life slipping away, the excruciating knowing. The gnashing and grinding of teeth as vicious evil commodifies lives, directing the theatrical tragedy from their self-established positions in the stratosphere, while commonplace humanity groans. Every little ornament – dust particles of affliction, microscopic droplets of misery – screams in shattering silence. The turmoil is palpable, overwhelming and crushing – all the frantically gyrating, jostling dots are concatenated in dolorous bitter chains.
It isn’t only sensory inundation that leads to meltdown. It’s also cognitive deluge that threatens shutdown.
Reblogged from bunnyhopscotch. Take note, those folks who want to contact me to do work, some basic fundamental professional decency is required. Do not bother if you are not prepared to uphold fairness, justice, equity and respect for persons with disability. Thank you.
I read Sara Lutermanβs review of the new HBO series, The Outsider, with interest. The whole kerfuffle over Autistic (mis)representation in the media β from documentary to fantasy β has been stirring and swirling and churning and heaving and whatnot else in that great cauldron perched precariously atop a spitting fire of contention for sometime [β¦]
Dawn-joy Leong 